just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
