Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize