Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
