You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
