Redeem this text for a blowjob
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
