OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
