So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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