I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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