My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize