fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
