Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
