Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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