you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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