So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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