Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
