Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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