Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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