How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
