I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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