All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
