careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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