I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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