he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
