yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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