I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
