you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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