No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
