Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....

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(512): View more from Texas

He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.

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(310): View more from California

When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.

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(210): View more from Texas

It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

New vibrator arrived today.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

How was it?

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Who are these wee mortals we call men?

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