just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
