Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Can I color on your dick again?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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