Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
