Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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