I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Someone shit on the floor
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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