you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
