This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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