from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize