How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
