I think I died a long time ago.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize