I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
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