I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
