her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
