I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she was so not down for the gang bang
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
