mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
