theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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