Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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