...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
