I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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