you have to choose: penises or morals?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
