She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
