You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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