You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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