I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize