I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
