In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
