So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
