whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
