is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
