i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
