his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
