I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
