just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
