This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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