i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
pray to the hookup gods
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
