Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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