Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
it's great music for shaving your balls
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
