the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
